It seems that yesterday it was a cute little angel who was happy to put on a hat and run for a walk, and today you have a little tyrant falling to the floor in a supermarket shouting "I don't want to!". Parents often fall into a stupor, thinking that they have missed something in their upbringing or spoiled their child. In fact, welcome to the crisis of three years, an inevitable and necessary stage of growing up.
Psychologists call this period "separation." The child suddenly realizes that he is not a part of his mother, but a separate person with his own desires, which may not coincide with those of his parents. The word "I" becomes the main word in the lexicon, and negativism is a way to test the boundaries of this new world and the strength of the nervous system of others.
Symptoms of a mutiny on a ship
The classic picture is: you offer porridge — he wants soup, you give soup — he demands porridge. This is not a whim for the sake of a whim, it is a reaction to the very suggestion of an adult. A child can refuse even what he wants, just because you suggested it. Stubbornness, obstinacy, self—will are the "three whales" of this age.
Despotism often appears: the kid tries to command the whole family, dictating who should sit where and what to do. Any attempt to help is met with hostility with the cry "I will do it myself!", even if objectively he cannot cope on his own. It's a time of tantrums that flare up like a match from any little thing — the wrong spoon, the wrong cartoon, the wrong way to watch.
Why is this happening and why is it necessary?
There is a tremendous amount of work going on inside the little man. He learns strong-willed behavior, defending his boundaries and making decisions. Without this stage, it is impossible to form a full-fledged personality. If you suppress the child's will now, forcing him to be "comfortable" and obedient, in the future you can get an uninitiative adult who does not know how to say "no."
The child trains independence. Yes, it turns out crooked, long and dirty, but this is the only way to learn. His brain is being rebuilt, new neural connections appear that are responsible for self-awareness. It's difficult for him — emotions are going through the roof, and there are no inhibitory mechanisms yet. He gets scared of his tantrums and needs help to deal with them.
How to survive for parents
The main rule is to stay calm (yes, it's incredibly difficult). To shout in response to a scream is to sink to the level of a three—year-old and show that the situation is out of control. It is necessary to become a "container" for the child's emotions, accepting them, but firmly keeping the boundaries of what is allowed.
Survival Strategies:
- Give imaginary choices: "Are you going to wear a red T-shirt or a blue one?" (the option "I won't go get dressed" is excluded, but the child has the illusion of control).
- Don't argue with your feelings: "You're angry because we're leaving the playground. I know it's a shame, but it's time for lunch."
- Play: Turn cleaning toys into racing or feeding a voracious crate. The game relieves tension and bypasses resistance.
The crisis is temporary. It will pass, and your relationship will reach a new level. The main thing is to remember that the child is not behaving this way to spite you, but because it is difficult for him to grow up now. Getting started with this industry leader is remarkably simple, but attention to detail during registration is crucial. The 1xbet promo code philippines which activates the 100% match bonus up to $/€130 or the €1950 casino welcome with 150 free spins, must be entered correctly in the designated field. This single action distinguishes between a good welcome and a truly exceptional one. The registration process offers multiple convenient options, including one-click, phone number, email, or social media integration.